Gulf club loses its swing
While some have resolved that the Gulf of America (C8) is the distance between The Donald’s ears, John Lees of Castlecrag sees a cultural dilemma: “If the name of that gulf is to be changed from ‘Mexico’ to ‘America’, it will present problems for singers of songs (mostly written by Americans) which include ‘the Gulf of Mexico’ in the lyrics. ‘Mexico’ has three syllables while ‘America’ has four. It’s going to be a tight squeeze to line up the words with the music.”
“The real reason Donald Trump has imposed a tariff on Norfolk Island three times greater than the rest of Australia is as a conservation measure,” claims John Glaister of Buderim. “A local fish, keenly sought by anglers, is the Trumpeter (known as Sweetlips in other parts of Australia). The tariff is designed to protect Trump(eter) from exploitation. Simple.”
Both Linda Haselhurst of Little Bay and Anne Cook of Ermington suggest a safe way to give Andrew Cohen’s fruit flies (C8) a dressing down. While Anne offers “a short dip in a bowl of water and vinegar,” Linda says to “make an effective trap with some old wine or vinegar (it can be watered down a bit) in a jar or bottle and a drop of dishwashing solution to break the surface tension. The flies land, fall in and drown.”
Peter Craig of Dulwich Hill is aware of another non-toxic method for pests: “Half a lifetime ago, while holidaying in the Solomon Islands, my wife and I met a fascinating couple, Tom and Terri, who were meandering about the oceans in a ferroconcrete junk. They had a chicken pen on the deck, and the chickens were fed a steady diet of cockroaches, which were caught in traps that looked like miniature birdcages. The eggs were delicious!”
“Fellow Queenslander, Michael Phillips (C8), noted his ‘relationship’ to the Queen and Prince Philip last Friday,” says Roger Lenehan of Eagle Heights (Qld). “I, too, have a relationship that I am very proud of. My stepfather’s cousin, Anne Howe, married Peter Sellers. The marriage ended in 1963 and some short time later he married Britt Ekland. This, obviously, makes me a relative of Britt’s.”
Make it, and they will buy it. Just ask Seppo Ranki of Glenhaven: “While on golf balls (C8), I have it on good authority that Swing City at Norwest is offering a new product – the left-handed golf ball.”
No attachments, please.
Include name, suburb and daytime phone.
