Don’t get rammed on the road
“Let stupid sheep be, Glenys Quirk (C8),” warns Barrie Restall of Teven. “Herding and working smart sheep would be a nightmare.”
Andrew Brown of Bowling Alley Point takes it deeper: “There is a definite hierarchy in regard to animals and road accidents. Goats are very smart and rarely get hit, pigs as well. Deer are less road aware, kangaroos are worse still. Rabbits must be number one on the hit list. As for sheep? They are not smart enough to get past a half-decent fence onto the road. Or does that make them smartest?”
“A traffic light turned orange on me on Monday morning,” says Gary Hay of Bella Vista. “To be sure, they would’ve changed the colour for St Patrick’s Day.”
“It’s never a bother to me to buy a turmeric latte (C8) from my local cafe,” declares Meri Will of Baulkham Hills. “The barista uses almond milk he makes himself on the premises. It’s delicious, with a much higher almond content than the flavoured water concoctions you get in supermarkets, where you’ll find a maximum 3 per cent almond in the ingredients list.” That’s nuts!
“A spokesman for CSL was quoted in the Herald regarding blood products and Trump’s tariffs,” notes Richard French of Muswellbrook. “He stated that ‘the situation is fluid’. I’m relieved he didn’t see red.”
Predictably, a new batch of “oligarch” replacements (C8) arrived over the weekend. Let’s get to it: Putrump – Ann Babington of Thornton, Doniputoniratchet – Joy Cooksey of Harrington, Kakistocrat – David Johnson of Penshurst, Wrecktocrat – Suzanne Saunders of Wadeville, and Donaldelon – Don Bain of Port Macquarie. Spellchecker officially hates you all.
Having had a bit of success with Grok (AI) in making his oligarch replacements (Shucksterbank and Griftbag), Russell Hill of Hobart (Tas) thought he’d go again, this time asking it to describe this column: “Column 8 in The Sydney Morning Herald is a quirky, reader-driven section where people share odd observations, humorous anecdotes, and playful wordplay. It’s a lighthearted corner of the paper, often featuring quirky urban tales or clever linguistic twists, and has been a beloved fixture since 1947. Think of it as a daily dose of whimsy amid the news.”
“Bring on the budget and the election campaign,” implores Stephanie Edwards of Leichhardt. “Usually something we all dread, but this time, will serve to get Donald Trump out of the headlines – we hope!”
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